A Dark day

Its crazy when you think about a day that pretty much changes your life forever.  Back in the day when people contracted HIV it was literally the end of the world because there was not and still is not a cure,  but at the same time so much was unknown about this disease that it wasnt treatable.  Now if u had it,  you were a pariah in most peoples eyes.  So the day I found out I was sick,  it was like any other , went to the Dr to get a check up and,  left with some blood work done and that was that.  I get a call a few days later and  told that I need to go in.  Thinking nothing of the sorts I go in and as Im with the Dr hes telling me Im positive.  I sit there for a minute basking in all the information that is being told to me.  Where I have to go,  and what I have to do to get treatment and services started.  I start crying and in the back of my mind all I can think about is;  Who, What, Where, When, and Why?  The Dr tells me everything is going to be ok,  but in my mind im thinking my life is over.  I go back to the car where my partner is wating for me and tell him the news.  He sits with me telling me everything is going to be ok. All I can do is apologize and worry what have i done to us.  Now its been over 5 years and Im healthy as can be.  Not a day goes by that I sit and regret my actions.  But regret isnt gonna change the fact.  All I can do is live my life to its fullest andtry and make every day count to its fullest.  As they say everything happens for a reason and I have to believe that this happened to me to make me,  stronger and more grateful of the life i have been given.  A friend once told me that we are greater than the credit we give ourselves and I believe that.  Any other person wouldve laid back and died.  I continue to push on and live.

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